Feeling · Life

过年

时间过的真快啊,转眼间二十四载白驹过隙,我已摇身成为一个青年。突然间,身边同学好友就已纷纷谈婚论嫁,甚至还有的喜得贵子。而我似乎还是当年的那个学生,一次次回味着记忆中的陈酿散发出的甘甜。一声声爆竹,预示着新的一年。又是一个本命年。人生中能有多少次本命年呢?试着回想自己十二年前的样子,应该是在六年级到初一的那段模糊岁月。我是怎样度过来的,都已经记不清楚了。依稀印象,几年前的我也是一个人,在本科的宿舍里,折腾着我的第一个博客,默默的度过了春节。不知道为什么,我喜欢上了这种一个人的感觉。或是如我所想,在体验新鲜经历的刺激下,去做从没有做过的,和别人都不一样的事情。或许又是我在逃避什么,或许是从心里排斥那个叫家的地方。也许,我真的是找不到一个真正能够与自己沟通表达的人,能够听懂我的人。所谓80后独生子女的通病?然后对所有亲戚封闭自己的心。“反正他们不懂,他们也不想明白,跟他们解释太麻烦了,也会招来讨厌”。反而,我开始在友情中寻找一点慰藉。当有人愿意与我相处,会发自内心的珍惜和感动。于是很珍惜每段友情。曾经曾经最好的朋友,却也在这样的珍惜下彻底宣告退场。因此,我开始反思自己的问题,一遍遍彻底的自卑和哀伤。不管怎样,习惯了一个人,理所应当,春节也是如此。但还是很想母亲。每每想到电话那头的她,怕我一个人在外受苦。在梦里,她遇见各种关于我的悲伤凄凉之事。甚至一次在电话里哭泣起来,我在电话这头也默默的眼眶湿润,我做的也只是安慰。想想,一直受到母亲的支持,即便是选择了科研这样一个不能赚钱的道路。尽管母亲是个凡人,希望将来我能够赚大钱,然后赡养自己,但是,看到我自己的坚持,她还是会义无反顾的支持我。我做为她的孩子,心里的感受溢于言表。这便是母爱吧。

昨天又看他的日志,然后感叹,真心觉得里面的字句很美,让人觉得真诚和舒服,就像是在竹林里喝一杯清茶,淡香萦绕。于是也想修饰一番自己的文笔。是啊,作为一个从小看着译文,且基本上都是科幻小说的男孩来说,这样的路着实还有很长。要写出好的文字,最基本的是积累吧,看好的文章,学习他们的长处,各种典籍。我不大习惯写出自己内心的真实感受,可能是太在乎别人的看法,但这样活着真很累。自己性格的缺点,需要慢慢修补。

据说本命年凶多吉少,我是不愿意相信这个,但还是很在意“运气”这两个字,于是,发自内心祈福,愿今年有个好运气。

Astronomy · Feeling

A review of 2011

2011 has just past, and things happened. Something happy, something inspiring, something upset and something depressive. I think a review would be good for me to remember and plan for the future. So I just list some of the most remarkable things here. Because I can not recall them in a right timeline, I simply list them here as follows:

  • Got involved into “Astroleaks. I think this is a very good idea, gathering a group of graduate students, commenting on certain astro-ph papers recently posted. I contributed to the development of the web pages and also wrote three posts. Just like astrobites, both reading and writing are good to you in forming an astrophysical mode of thinking. It can gain your critical view of the papers and help you follow the new ideas and interesting results in a specific field. Additionally, I made some good friends via this website. They all have a great passion for astronomy. That gave me a lot of motivations to get fresh new ideas.
  • Finished my courses.  I may have no more exams for my courses from now on. And this ended my 17 years exam-life, although I may have some other exams in the future. Ain’t this remarkable?
  • Got a chance to Paris for 1.5 months. I think this will be the most exciting thing happened this year. With the help of Prof. Jiang (my boss), Mr Gao (my boss as well), and Prof. Alain. I got a chance to IAP for a study of aperture synthesis observation of high-z Herschel Lensed sources. I think I can learn a great lot both from Prof. Alain and this trip. This is an exciting topic, which will find some fancy new results of molecular contents at high-z galaxies, helping us understand what physical process is happening in this high-z galaxies. I am so happy to get this chance. Now, I am repairing my visa to France.
  • Dr Weidong Li has passed away. This is the most astonishing news I heard this year. I still remember the first time and also the last time I saw him at the meeting held in our department in July. He taught us some life philosophy on how to do research and how to be a good person. In our view, he was one of the most successful astronomers in our department. He was the kind of person that we wanted to be. So after being informed his death on 15th, I was very sad. I think this is also telling us to take care of our body. Health is very important.
  • Moved to Nanjing. As I planned from the start of my master candidate life, I will be a joint training student of BNU and PMO. So in August this year, I came here, PMO, joined the Star Formation In Galaxies Group and knew a lot of new friends and excellent research staffs here. Honestly speaking, I was going to be crazy for staying at BNU for any longer, more than 5 years, watching the same views, feeling the same feelings, and having the same ideas. I needed a new environment to get excited. After moving here, I learned a lot of new stuff, and also developed some new habits, “refreshing” my brains. And in next 1 year, will be the busiest, exciting and enjoyable year. I have a lot to do, have a lot to learn and have a lot to face.

In this very beginning of 2012, I made some wishes for me, for my family and for my friends. May your wish come true. Hope this 2012 will be a miraculous year.