Feeling Life

Si un jour, vous êtes très malheureux…


“Si un jour, vous êtes très malheureux. Rappelez-vous qu’on est qu’un grain de poussière. Quelques atomes tombés d’une étoile. Nous ne sommes là que quelques instants. A peine le temps d’un battement de cils à l’échelle de l’univers. Alors, profitez-en. Profitez-en. C’est la vie qui est plus forte que tout. Alors nous, on va continuer à vivre.”

— L’odyssée (un film réalisé, 2016)


English translation: If you are very unhappy one day. Remind yourself that we are just grains of stardust, some atoms fell from dying stars. We are only here in this world for a short moment, short as in the twinkling of an eye to the timescale of the Universe. So, enjoy your life. Enjoy it! It’s life that is the most thriving being in this world. Then, we live on.

Feeling Life

The story of your lives

最近這幾年,思考關於生而向死的問題,思考曾經隻是挂在嘴上,如今卻深刻困擾著自己的“人生的意義”,這個思考的過程迅速的消耗著我的腦細胞以及我曾經天真的世界觀。同樣的一句話,一句被大家常常挂在嘴邊的話,因為自己經歷了“生死考驗”而變得不一樣,變得逼真無比,變得迫在眉睫,變成為日常的困擾。當“二次元”的中二變成了三次元裡真切的終極問題,仿佛面到了人生中一堵思想上巨大的牆。在這堵牆高大的陰影裡,不管你家財萬貫榮華富貴,還是你權利大到瞞天過海,亦或是落魄街頭,都變得微不足道,沒有任何意義,因為這些人生在這個廣闊的宇宙裡連個笑話都不如。如同Ted Chiang的 The story of your life 裡的人物一樣,我們生下來其實就已經注定了人生的結局,當你知道了一切的結局,你還會怎麼去做?當你失去了自由意志,你會選擇如何面對你的人生,如何面對自己?



Feeling Life

Der geilste Tag

Der geilste Tag 片中男主 Andy 在片尾坐在天台,看着夕阳。在经历了种种非洲冒险之后,他即将面对死亡,看着 Benno,他说:





Drowning in the uncertain darkness?

Days have passed, yet I am still struggling, slowly and slowly drowning in the darkness. What is happening? For years, I have been asking this very same question again and again without any answer. Things exist without any reason, and any request of justifying them is in vain.

Every day the future looks a little bit darker. But the past, even the grimy parts of it, well, it just keeps on getting brighter all the time.

Is this a sign of aging physiologically, albeit I am still less than thirty? Or, is it just telling that the mind is too vulnerable to bear the burden of life and the responsibilities coming along? I cannot stop thinking about the meaning of everything, e.g., the meaning of being in this world; why life exists; why am I here sitting in front of a 13 inch MacBook Pro typing this post. I mean, as a Ph.D. student majoring in astrophysics, I am a part of the great mission of human beings to try to understand our universe. But as human beings, are we able to understand why we are living in this world? And for what reason? I suppose we deserve better answers than simply “passing our human DNA”. I see a lot of people don’t even bother thinking of these “stupid” questions. They do everything without asking why. I admit that there can exist no meaning for those who are “why” at all. The question can even be totally wrong in the first place. However, those people just do the routines, following their instincts. I am so confused, haunted by the idea of why we do this and why we do that. Why don’t people think why?

I detest the people who show fake confidence, pretending as if (s)he knows everything, yelling at the entire world with his strident voice and being afraid that people are not able to recognize his wisdom. And then, I realized tolerance is walking away from me little by little. I can’t bear those people even with a bit of imperfection in their minds now. But do I have those moral flaws as well? I must do it.

Things growing darker once you start to fall into the deep dark abyss in your mind.