Categories
Astronomy

写在2013之末与2014之初

     恍惚间,一年转瞬即逝。每当这个时候,总会有些怅然若失的感受涌上心头。可能是淡淡的不舍,或天生忧郁。回想这一年,认识了几个好朋友,去了一次法国,回师大答辩并且顺利的获得天体物理硕士学位,第一次喝酒喝得发晕并且傻笑,第一次在飞机上经历惊魂一刻时在心中不停默念某人的姓名,发了一篇二作A&A和一篇一作ApJL,进入紫台,自己lead的PdBI申请中了,以PI身份申请了ALMA望远镜的观测时间,co-I了若干PdBI和ALMA的申请项目,参与了二十多次组会,讲了十多次报告,看了一百多部电影,同时也辜负了一些人,……

     这一年收获很多。这六年来不能释怀的,已经淡然了,但却也增加了很多新的遗憾。有时候,只有在自己醉的时候才知道,或者只有在面临死亡的时候才会发现,然后却也只能接受这遗憾的故事。有些东西渐渐磨灭,另一些或许会渐渐缘起。

     二十五载,记忆越发凌乱,也许在梦境中才能找到一些丢失的碎片。

     希冀,二〇一四。

     新(公历)年快乐。

Categories
Feeling Life

写在二〇一二的末尾

恍惚间,一年转瞬即逝。每当这个时候,总会有些怅然若失的感受涌上心头。可能是淡淡的不舍,或天生忧郁。回想这一年,看了一百多部电影,参与了三十多次组会,讲了十多次报告,认识了几个好朋友,写了两篇astroleaks,去了两次法国,失了一次恋,在科大开了一次题,参加了一次学术会议,参加了一次PdBI的School,去了一次浙江,去了一次苏州,伤了一个人的心,参加了一个国际天文项目,中了人生中第一个观测申请,参加了一次同学聚会……

这一年经历确实很多,或伤感或喜悦,其中很多体验是人生中的第一次。这五年来不能释怀的,也渐渐淡然了,只是心里默默祝福,然后接受这遗憾的故事。有些东西渐渐磨灭,另一些或许会渐渐缘起。

二十四载,记忆越发凌乱,也许在梦境中才能找到一些丢失的碎片。

希冀,二〇一三。

新(公历)年快乐。

Categories
Event Life

本命年

时间过的真快啊,转眼间二十四载白驹过隙,猛然间摇身就成为一青年。此刻才意识到,身边同学好友已纷纷谈婚论嫁,甚有的喜得贵子。而自己似乎还是当年的那个学生。在那些老地方一次次回味着记忆中陈酿散发出的甘甜或者苦涩。一声声爆竹预示着新的一年,又是一个本命年。人生中能有多少次本命年呢?试着回想十二年前的样子,确是模模糊糊,我是怎样度过来的,都已记不清楚了。却依稀印象,几年前,我也是一个人在宿舍里,折腾着我的第一个博客,默默的度过了大学生涯中第一个不回家的春节。不知为何,我喜欢这种一个人的感觉。或是如我所想,内心渴望体验新鲜自由的与众不同,做别人未做之事?或许又是因为我在逃避什么?渐渐感到,我似乎真的是找不到一个心意相通之人。难道这就是所谓八零后独生子女的通病?然后对所有人封闭自己的心:“反正他们不懂,他们也不想明白,跟他们解释太麻烦了,反而会招来讨厌。”于是我试图在友情中寻找一点慰藉。当有人愿意与我相处,会发自内心的珍惜和感动。于是异常珍惜每段友情。然而,曾经曾经最好的朋友,却也在这样的珍惜下彻底宣告撤退。我开始自我反思,历经一遍遍彻底的自卑和哀伤。不管怎样,如今已习惯了一个人。那么,理所应当,春节也该是如此罢。

有时候会想念母亲。每每想到电话那头的她,怕我一人在外受苦。在梦里,她遇见各种关于我的悲伤凄凉之事。甚至一次在电话里伤心而泣,我在电话这头也默默眼眶湿润。然而我也只能给她安慰。想想,母亲一直支持着自己,即便是我选择了科研这样一个不能大赚特赚的道路。虽然母亲也是个普通百姓,盼着将来我能够赚大钱,赡养父母。但每每我有自己的坚持时,她还是会义无反顾的支持。做为母亲的孩子,心里的感受溢于言表。这便是母爱吧。

前些天又看F的日志,然后感叹,真心觉得里面的字句很美,真诚和舒服。感觉如在竹林喝一杯清茶,淡香萦绕,神清气爽。于是也想修饰一番自己的文笔。是啊,作为一个从小看着译文,且基本上都是科幻译文的我来说,还是有不少差距。要写出好的文字,最基本的是积累吧,看好的文章,学习他们的长处,通晓各种典籍。有时候觉得自己不太会表达自己,可能是太在乎别人的看法,但这样活着真很累。自己性格的缺点,需要慢慢修补。

据说本命年凶多吉少,我是不愿意相信这个,但毕竟还是很在意“运气”,于是前些日子买了根红绳系上,并发自内心祈福,愿今年有个好运气。

Categories
Astronomy Feeling

A review of 2011

2011 has just past, and things happened. Something happy, something inspiring, something upset and something depressive. I think a review would be good for me to remember and plan for the future. So I just list some of the most remarkable things here. Because I can not recall them in a right timeline, I simply list them here as follows:

  • Got involved into “Astroleaks. I think this is a very good idea, gathering a group of graduate students, commenting on certain astro-ph papers recently posted. I contributed to the development of the web pages and also wrote three posts. Just like astrobites, both reading and writing are good to you in forming an astrophysical mode of thinking. It can gain your critical view of the papers and help you follow the new ideas and interesting results in a specific field. Additionally, I made some good friends via this website. They all have a great passion for astronomy. That gave me a lot of motivations to get fresh new ideas.
  • Finished my courses.  I may have no more exams for my courses from now on. And this ended my 17 years exam-life, although I may have some other exams in the future. Ain’t this remarkable?
  • Got a chance to Paris for 1.5 months. I think this will be the most exciting thing happened this year. With the help of Prof. Jiang (my boss), Mr Gao (my boss as well), and Prof. Alain. I got a chance to IAP for a study of aperture synthesis observation of high-z Herschel Lensed sources. I think I can learn a great lot both from Prof. Alain and this trip. This is an exciting topic, which will find some fancy new results of molecular contents at high-z galaxies, helping us understand what physical process is happening in this high-z galaxies. I am so happy to get this chance. Now, I am repairing my visa to France.
  • Dr Weidong Li has passed away. This is the most astonishing news I heard this year. I still remember the first time and also the last time I saw him at the meeting held in our department in July. He taught us some life philosophy on how to do research and how to be a good person. In our view, he was one of the most successful astronomers in our department. He was the kind of person that we wanted to be. So after being informed his death on 15th, I was very sad. I think this is also telling us to take care of our body. Health is very important.
  • Moved to Nanjing. As I planned from the start of my master candidate life, I will be a joint training student of BNU and PMO. So in August this year, I came here, PMO, joined the Star Formation In Galaxies Group and knew a lot of new friends and excellent research staffs here. Honestly speaking, I was going to be crazy for staying at BNU for any longer, more than 5 years, watching the same views, feeling the same feelings, and having the same ideas. I needed a new environment to get excited. After moving here, I learned a lot of new stuff, and also developed some new habits, “refreshing” my brains. And in next 1 year, will be the busiest, exciting and enjoyable year. I have a lot to do, have a lot to learn and have a lot to face.

In this very beginning of 2012, I made some wishes for me, for my family and for my friends. May your wish come true. Hope this 2012 will be a miraculous year.