你在追寻什么?

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图:雷克雅未克的极光,摄于2015年12月末。

或许你已经意识到,初始的问题就错了。在这个错误的问题下,一切都按照似是而非的逻辑混沌不堪。情绪化的大脑被蒙蔽了双眼,掩盖了那些永恒不变的逻辑规律。

你在追寻什么?而你现在是否还在思考这个问题呢?当你迷失在生活的琐碎不堪之中,你是否会静下来记起那个信誓旦旦的小小野心呢?作为动物生活的你,是否还是在担心自己活得太接近动物?各种炫耀、浮夸、虚伪、狡辩、敌意亦或是虚荣?你还在在意别人是否活得很动物吗?自己亦或是别人,到底谁更像野畜一样原始?

作为一个平均寿命不到100年的灵长目人科人属动物,时间太过宝贵。对于这个世界,享受你的生命和满足你的好奇心,去了解你身处的这个世界的运行规律,这大概是我们超越于地球上其他生命的最大不同。然而,你真的跟他们不同吗?我知道,作为动物的你,需要克服很多本能的困难。但这并不意味着你无法超越动物的你。

2016年的你,不要忘了,在这个世界上,你只是一个虔诚的探寻者。

沿途的微光

We are born to die, which is the most definite thing that will happen to our life. This makes the metaphor that life is like a journey to be extremely true. Taking a sad and inappropriate example, it’s like a plane that can never land: once you take off, the only thing you know is that it will crash once your run of out fuel.

This is so fatalism and pointless, I have to admit. However, I have just realised this ruthless fact, or I should say that I have somehow understand the meaning of that in these two years. After my “quite an experience”, I started to think about it seriously. Of course, it causes me to be less happy and even sometimes desperate. But, the voice in my head tells me that I have to think of it, and I need to.

Yesterday, I was watching the last movie of the Hunger Game series. When I saw Katniss and Peeta embracing after the ending of the turbulent period. I was thinking that, they are just like two helpless people together on the non-landing plane, encouraging and giving warm and strength to each other. They do not need to face the desperate ending alone anymore. And they will also notice that there are beautiful views on this plane, lights from the sun, the moon and thousands stars. There are fragrant moments that lights in your life. By facing the fact, you will also find the beauty and the things that you can change. Is it perhaps all about loneliness? I can not tell as they are coming from the deep inside our brains.

What about doing something great that beyond our motions? Of course, we can try our best to upgrade this despairing plane, make our contribution, and make it fly longer or transcending our limitation? Maybe, it will be solved by the A.I. technology, e.g., digitalising our consciousness. However, after that point, the meaning of life and death and a lot of others will change totally, which may make the most wise philosopher in this world lost his/her insights to ourselves.

八月份的尾巴是室女座

嗓吧啦啵啦哆,啵啦哆啦嘻啵。近两个月没有写博客,这里都近乎荒芜。本来想说自己七八月都忙着写论文和开会,以此作为借口。尤其是一想到大家都在度假,而我却在辛苦的工作,不觉十分惨淡。但实际上,大概是自己的懒惰所致。其实一切都是懒惰所致,不是吗?所以,本来应该年初写完的paper被我拖到了现在,而这个paper之后还有两三篇papers在waiting list里。除此之外,还有几个co-author的work还在搞……关于夏威夷的IAU会议,收获确实很多,比如再次从一个新的高度认识到了big picture的重要性;在比如networking的重要性;还有给自己工作做推广的重要性等等。
又临近deadline,然而说服TAC的难度越来越高,因为你的工作还没有publish!于是我要在接下来的三周不到的时间里疯狂的工作。每次写paper,就会觉得自己的big picture简直是一团乱麻,书读得太少,review读的太少,经典的paper读的太少,然而,现在哪有时间允许我去读这么多东西?也就只有在deadline之时,我才会发现,平常的时间都是怎样的被我浪费掉了,包括我现在坐在这里写这篇博客……

八月份的尾巴是室女座,我做好准备了吗?